Of Bullies and Bitches.

My phone rings to a familiar long lost acquantance. I smile and answer the call.

‘Are you very angry these days?’

Puzzled ‘ No! Why do you ask?’

‘ you know that post you put up about a family wedding becoming a noise pollution nuisance isn’t actually right… I wa there at that function and it wasn’t them!’

‘ Oh!’

‘ They are very decent people (me wondering since when did decency be vouched by him , and when did it mean that people don’t flout rules to suit them). They saw your post, found me on their friend list and asked me to speak to you.’

I am thinking, this sounds exactly like a conversation that a bully has with someone who he politely wants to ‘influence’ into following his suggestion…. but, I patiently hear him out.

‘So, their function ended at 11.30 pm. And, they are upset that their name is on your post.’

‘ok. if you say it wasn’t their function, then, i will edit my post.’

‘yea, can you do that? and do it as pe what you thin kis appropriate’

Really? Because, it’s my rant on noise pollution and I hear the subtle change in tone insisting an urgency to abide by what he was suggesting to me… clearly not the right way to get me to cooperate.

‘yea i will.’ And, we move to closing our call with pleasantries. By now, he’s convinced I am going to see reason ( didn’t know I wasn’t reasonable before). So, he hangs up also suggesting that he will ask them which other families had functions on the same night and help me with a list of names. I thank him for going out of the way and wish him well.

Cut to 2 hours later, I am waiting to start my late lunch with a mild headache coming on and my stomach complaining on the lack of food. My lunch plate is inviting and teh phone rings again.

‘Yes?’

‘ you haven’t corrected the post yet??’

‘Huh? I just reached home for lunch from work. Will do it soon.’’

‘I thought you would’ve done it already’ Now, here is where things start spiraling downwards.

‘ I said I will and I will. I was at office with other priorities…’

He cuts me mid sentence and ‘ Ofcourse, you have other priorities! You dragged this family’s name and directed it to them so since you now know it’s not them, you should do it!’

‘ I never said i won’t! But, please remember that this is my personal page and it refers to a common issue, not only this family, and I will have my lunch and make the change!’ I am already feeling the anger in my blood reach my cheeks! so much for being sensitive and accomodating!

‘ I didnt know you would be so professional about this!’ ( professional here is an insult by the way- refering to being an ass or a bitch)

“ I will do it. But not at your time! And, I’ve not denied that I may be mistaken. Bt, please do not tell me how and when to do it!’ At the cost of talking down to a close-minded person, I repeat myself hoping to reach out to his sensibilities.

This same interaction goes on for over 3 minutes where he continues to push his agenda to me and I do not even know why I was listening. I must’ve wanted to cut the call, rudely letting him know that I wasn’t getting bullied by him.

Well, thankfully I didnt.

‘ if you have called me and vouched that it’s not this friend family then i take your word for it and will make the change. but, please allow me to have my lunch my friend’ and on repeat mode.

Finally, this ordeal ends with this finally getting across as the only solution i will provide, and teh only reply i wish to give.

After hanging up, I was disturbed. This did not make me comfortable. I had been spoken rudely to, and bullied into responding to his requests.

This realisation came to an hour later with a calmer mind that most of us get bullied into many situations through our days.

And men like this gentlemen, like to have their way. What plays more on their agenda is also the alpha male gene which doesn’t allow them to get into discussin mode. But, it’s mostly ‘do as i say’ mode.

It’s disturbing! As an educated person, serving in the corporate world in tis part of the world and in his mid-forties, I am aghast at his attitude.

He is not the only one. And, they aren’t easy to ignore either. If the woman is opinionated and stands her ground, she is bitchy. Simple.

A senior lady in a large publishing house also admited the same thing to me a few days ago.

Time for a better way to deal with such bullies!