Monthly Basics

The last few weeks have been about being grateful for the small things in life.

The journey of my life has been a roller coaster from the good days in between the bad days.

The bad days are here again since i fractured my back and hip in a fluke bathroom accident.

my first thought was that i was grateful not to have cracked my head or injured my spine and become paralysed.

Others around me were rattled and their emotions were out of control since maybe they couldn’t get over the possibilities of what could have gone wrong.

This morning, my house help got both of us in an awkward situation. Since I am wheel chair bound since the accident, she is my shadow helping me around the house. As advised, I was sunbathing in the balcony and she was sitting around with me. I asked form some water and she got up only for both of us to be staring at a blood stain on the floor. Clearly she had her periods.

When i offered to her a sanitary napkin, she replied saying she wasnt even wearing a panty! To my horror, i realised that we still live in a world where women only wear panties during their periods! It took me 2 minutes to accept this fact and still struggling with it, I offered her to try on a spare one i had.

I wasn’t sure how she would respond to my suggestion and help. But, she was matter of fact and agreed to try it on. We both drove down to my cupboard, I pulled out the new small sized one I had stashed away in the back of my drawer and gave it to her. Ironically, this was a Jockey one and obviously something she would not be able to afford ever in her life. And, here she was about to try it out with my help on a day when things could not get any weirder. How does one respond to this? And, how can one go through the experience without feeling awkward and messing it up?

Suddenly, she and I, were bonding as one woman to another over a situation we all go through. Social statures did not matter, and economic statuses did not matter either. We were just 2 women bonding over messy periods! How simple and basic could it be! Every woman at some point in her adult menstruating life has been caught staining a dress, a chair, or any seat because of her unpredictable periods. Poor or rich, educated or not, independent or a housewife- we’ve all been there and survived it.

She wore it and the pad and was smiling once she came out of the bathroom. That smile was all of it for me. The gratitude and relief on her face was obvious and she didn’t say more.

This experience reminded me how women always have it tougher with more physical and emotional challenges. Even if we step out of the house, and become bread earners, our physiology continues to define many situations in our lives. The pressures of menstruating, becoming mothers , and the pressures of performing in many roles we have volunteered for- daughter, wife, mother, and sister in addition to colleague and team mate.

We live in the 21 century, and Indian women still need to limit their resources to these kind of situations. Wearing a panty only during periods and using a pad are still some of the harsh truths of today’s Indian woman. How have we progressed? Have we moved ahead as a society where the realities still remain this way?