Potholes and Highways

I know the world attacks you and life’s a big journey of battling the attacks, escaping them, and making the best of the losing episodes.

Is this true? Not really, when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Only when is the right time?

I was diagnosed as an autoimmune patient in 2004. 15 years down the journey hasn’t been easy. So many struggles with the physical changes, monetary drain into treatments, and difficult relationships with friends and family. The ride has been a roller coaster filled with a few ups and many dips.

2004, sitting in the waiting room with test results positive for something I did not understand was life changing. My friendly doctors reassurances and explanations gave some relief to the anxiety and confusion. I won’t die, I will need lifelong medicines, and maybe I shouldn’t marry since having kids might be an issue. This summarised my conversation with him.

How do I explain to friends what I had? How do skip family events when am feeling under weather? How do I skip work today when I am tired, aching and dizzy? No way to be honest and yet have the other truest understand.

I slowly started losing friends in the real world and my journey was a lonely one. I was alone in a crowd of people who didn’t get what it was like at all. I spent years being caregiver to my terminally ill mom and having sporadic attacks of my own.

My world was filled with drugs, hospitals, waiting rooms at clinics, and bills. In my other world, there was work that gave me an identity apart from the madness of the medical chaos in my life, there were friends who tried to be there to support, and there was the family-stuck in the same boat.

Years passed and I lost my mother to cancer. It was a relief in a way. I could now focus on me. That was what I thought when I got married and moved cities to start a fresh life. With the new life came unreal adjustments to people, places, culture and food. I gained over 15 kilos over 10 years. While others boast about losing weight systematically, I can claim to have gained. The new stresses brought new challenges and pressures to always be in good health. I underwent splenectomy to get better. Nothing changed. I went back to the same drugs and challenges with them.

I finally decided that my journey would be the motivation to others. Autoimmunity.in is born here. And, with this thought of filling a huge void of lack of information and support around autoimmune diseases. I am hoping to reach enough people to make this difference.